Women Empower Women

  • By Louise Aspden
  • 10 Jun, 2016

A place where you get to BE YOU....

Be Positive, Be Grateful, Be You

You know that feeling you have when you are with your girlfriends and they ‘ get you’ ? It is a sense of belonging and feeling safe enough to relax and BE YOU ! Friendships are an extremely important element of living a positive, content and healthy life for both men and women.

One of the most exciting areas of my work is when I run my women’s retreat days. They hold a special place in my heart for a few reasons:

  • I love interacting in a group setting. In my past as a facilitator, speaker, Weight Watchers leader and Zumba Fitness Instructor, I have found there is a special energy when people come together for common goals.
  • When I create a container of safety in the program where my participants begin to share their stories and their life experiences, it creates a richer experience for everyone. It feels like they have known each other for years. Great connections and friendships are a wonderful side benefit of my programs.
  • Women, in a group, sharing their stories are amazing at supporting and empathizing with each other. We can feel so terribly alone in our struggles, it is a comfort to share and feel connected at that level. This is where friendships come from, when we say… “Oh, you too?”
  • I am taking my women’s one-day retreat to a whole new level by integrating several of my amazing program offerings into a full, comprehensive, empowering and life-changing day for you.

BE  POSITIVE : “If you think you can or think you can’t, your right” ~ Henry Ford

In this workshop you will learn how your thoughts, feelings and energy impact all areas of your life.

  • In order to re-create our lives and find more meaning, more contentment and more joy we need to become very clear about what we want. You will learn how to drill down into any area in your life and create clarity around what you want moving forward.
  • Knowing what we want in our lives is a great gift however; we need to now focus on what we want. Life can get busy and distracting. You will learn to maintain a positive focus on your career, life and relationship goals so that you can gain some traction towards what you want.
  • The last and most important step is developing belief around your goals and dreams. The only thing that stops us from having what we want in our lives is doubt. You will learn solid tools and techniques to help you remove doubt around the important areas in our life. Removing doubt opens up the gateway to allow all that you crave into your experience.

BE GRATEFUL: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Is it possible to be truly grateful when we feel lonely, stuck or just generally unhappy?

In this amazing and transformational program you will earn to use gratitude to let go of the past, find peace and joy in the present and bring more beauty to your future.

Through training and coaching exercises you will be guided to:

  • Look back into your past life experiences to find gratitude in lessons learned. See the gift even the most difficult experiences have given you so that you can let go of regret, resentment and unhappy memories enough to move forward with more contentment and less pain.
  • Sit in amongst your present life and peek around into all corners; work, relationships, health and money. You will create a deeper awareness of the beauty you are experiencing every day and be able to forgive, let go of and move away from areas where you are experiencing negative feelings.
  • You future is yours to define. You will learn tools to help you feel more confident about whom you are and what is possible for you moving forward. Beyond that, you will bring that beautiful energy with you as you navigate your life and touch others around you.

BE YOU : “Be you, everyone else is taken.”

What truly sets my training programs apart is my ability to “dance in the moment” with you. In other words, I will bring lessons, ideas and inspiration into the program, in the moment that they are relevant.

As a life coach, I listen at a very deep level to what is truly being said in the room. When I find a theme coming up I will pull a tool out of my “tool box” that will benefit the whole group.

The intention is to help you develop a stronger self-awareness of what holds you back from embracing change. Those can be your limiting beliefs, personal values or emotions.

This is where the material becomes YOURS, to use in your individual life experience.

Join me on Saturday, June 18th at the beautiful Vidya’s Yoga & Wellness Centre in Thornton, Ontario for a day that will be all about beautiful YOU.

Please register online before June 16th: CLICK HERE

Positive Coach | Louise's Blog

By Louise Aspden 07 Jul, 2017

I'm being as still as I am comfortable with...

I don't meditate. I wake up every morning and go straight to "doing". Working on my multiple business projects, doing chores, spending time with my family, exercising, socializing with friends and whatever else comes up.

This last few months I have learned that when life throws a big change at me, I tend to feel like I need to continue to push through as if nothing has changed. That really doesn't work.

It was difficult to make the decision to step back from Positive Coach. This has been something I have worked very hard at for a long time; this is my "baby" per-say. However I could feel my energy around this change. I felt like I was wearing lead shoes trying to tread through my task lists. I know well enough that I will not get anywhere in that state. I also know that I won't serve you, my clients and followers in the best way I can.

So I have stepped back, at bit. (for now)

I am still posting daily in #GratefulMoments  as gratitude is something I need to practice and share, one way or another!

I have kept my commitment to the Positive Panel Rogers TV Show  team and have enjoyed continuing down that path (stay tuned for more news there).

I have enjoyed my new venture with being the moHost of momondays Barrie ! It serves my need to support others in their goals (speakers) and bring together our community in the most positive way.

In between this I have enjoyed just "being" and choosing to sit over a long coffee with my husband, accept invitations to new social activities, be more available to our family and most importantly, begin to take care of me. This week I have finally felt motivated to begin eating healthier and moving more, something that has caused me to gain weight and feel lethargic. I already feel more energetic!

I truly appreciate you hanging in here as I sort through this and try to continue to bring you some value along the way!

Is there an area in your life that you feel you are wearing "lead shoes" around? Can it be that you need to step back and be still for a bit?

By Louise Aspden 15 May, 2017

I thought I made it through Mother's Day this time!

Until I saw a beautiful video that a dear friend of mine posted. It is a beautiful tribute to her as a mother and as a daughter. As I watched her elderly mother talk about how proud she was of her daughter for becoming a wonderful adult and mother herself, well, I lost it.

Grief is such a thief!

I was having an absolutely beautiful Mother's Day/Birthday weekend where I got to spend time with my own children, their beautiful wives, my dear husband and our precious granddaughter. Nothing means more to me than to spend time with them. It just doesn't get any better than this and nobody is more grateful than I am to have created what feels like a very privileged, charmed life.

My own post for the day was focused on my own mother (see above photo) with the following words:

"Because of you I live with joy, I embrace all opportunities, I love fiercely, I demand respect and I treasure my health. In only 22 years you gave me lessons I have carried with me my whole life. Happy Mother's Day Mommy. #GratefulMoments "

My post was created to be mindful of those of you out there that struggle with this holiday, maybe you are also motherless, have a difficult/toxic relationship with your mother, lost a child or never had children yourself. I intended to show that we can find peace in gratitude, even around our pain.

But, I was reminded once again that she died too early and I never got to be an "adult" with her.

By Louise Aspden 05 Mar, 2017

He would be turning 16 today...

Damn it! I am so angry. He was healthy, spunky and our very, very best friend. Just because we didn't see those coyotes lurking in the bush, he is gone. We should have been more diligent. How could we? He never asked for much from us and deserved everything. Especially our protection and care. We will never forgive ourselves. Never.

This last three months has been a much bigger evolution for me personally than I ever would have thought. All due to losing our sweet Max. You see, for the first time in over 30 years, I don't have anyone I am directly responsible for.

And here comes the guilt barreling in again. You see, I am learning to enjoy this new-found freedom. I can go out for more than 3-4 hours at a time without rushing home to let him out. I can finally hop on a plane with my hubby and go to work with him without worry. How could I be enjoying this in any way?

Over the past three months the grief is ebbing, replacing itself with loneliness. The guilt will take longer; I’m working at watering it down with as much grace and self-love as I can muster.

By Louise Aspden 17 Feb, 2017

Our very first “Valentine’s Day” as a dating couple was in 1982. I was very young and madly in love. I can’t remember the card but I assume it was sweet, all I remember is the gift. A car part, he bought me a new horn for the used car I had just purchased.


Now, can you imagine my face? I honestly can’t remember what I said but I do remember feeling disappointed. A car part? Really? Somehow I managed to see a bit of humour in this as a cute, endearing fumble on his part.

I didn't get the lesson here for a long while, however, this ended up to be a great learning opportunity within our budding relationship.

This is where I learned that he was not only practical and handy, but that he wanted to take care of me.  

If I had immediately seen the intention behind this in that moment and that this was a peek into the most amazing, caring future husband I could ask for, I would have jumped for joy at this seemingly un-romantic gift.
 
I am tearing up writing this.
 
Can you see how easily this could have gone bad and created a disconnect, resentment and even ended the new relationship before it started?
There are three, learnable skills that came into play here that I didn’t even know I had:

  1. Emotional Management: I was able to receive the gift without breaking into tears of disappointment. I truly can’t remember what I said but I must have managed to keep it together long enough to show gratitude for his thoughtful gift. I think I had a good cry later, by myself.
  2. Seek Intention: Once I was calm enough I was able to look for the intention behind the gift. He truly felt it was something I needed, and it was. He was just being pragmatic, not unloving.
  3. Empathy: I will not lie; he did get razed about the gift a bit over the years. However,always with an underlying understanding of what he was trying to accomplish.

 
These three factors are key pieces to managing, maintaining and growing any relationship, romantic, family or even work related.
 
We all have the same basic needs within our relationships. We want to feel heard and appreciated. Sadly, we are not always speaking the same language which leads to misunderstanding and disconnection.  
 
Would you like to remove misunderstanding and deepen your connection within your most important relationships?

Join me LIVE on Sunday, Febraury 26th for a powerful, insightful workshop. REGISTRATION INFORMATION HERE

By Louise Aspden 31 Jan, 2017

Are the events around the world causing you to feel anxious, fearful or distressed?

It is virtually impossible to avoid the onslaught of negative news and opinions these days. At every turn, we are being bombarded with people waving it in our faces, you know, just in case we managed to miss it!

We are entering into a vicious cycle of news, opinion, blame and reaction. One event can now become a cascade of hatred and violence. There are moments that I feel scared for us all.

So, what can you do? What is possible in the moments when you begin to feel more and more helpless? I certainly have the urge on some mornings to just crawl back under the covers and hope it all goes away.

You really have only one card to play when you are dealing with any sort of adversity within your life and that is the reaction you choose.

I have wrapped three coping skills into a nice little morning routine that works really well in preparing for the day and then managing through it.

By Louise Aspden 23 Jan, 2017

I love helping my clients achieve their desires and dreams. Most of them come to me looking to create some form of change within their lives. Their wants are varied from better health and relationships, more success in business, reducing anxiety and stress right down to managing grief and loneliness.

There is a structure that I encourage my clients to follow as they move towards their goals and dreams. I have spent the month of January sharing some of my strategies for creating and sustaining momentum towards your individual goals.

STEP 1: EXCHANGE “SHOULD” FOR “WANT”

In my first post this year,  “ Loading 2017… ” I discussed the difference between “want” and “should”. Much of what I train and coach is around the energy we create within our lives and how that impacts both our current wellbeing and what we ultimately attract into our future. This is something we work through as a client/coach team by really digging down and finding the heart of what we truly are looking for. Sometimes what you think you want and what you really do want are not quite the same.

STEP 2: TAKE THE EASY ROAD

Keeping in mind that life is busy for most of you, I want to make this journey one that is easy, fun, joyful and successful. I do this by helping you find “ The Path of Least Resistance ” in breaking down the process into chunks that work for you and you alone. I know that what works for one client can stop another in their tracks.

STEP 3: FAILURE IS YOUR FRIEND

When we get digging around your past, we cannot avoid coming upon the boulders of failure and regret that are blocking your path. I think what inspires me most is when you begin to pivot your perspective around these failures to look at them as stepping stones rather than boulders. Stepping stones towards wisdom. Read more about this in last weeks post: Scrap Your Resolutions .

By Louise Aspden 16 Jan, 2017

The 17th of January is considered “ Ditch Your Resolution Day ” as statistically this is when most of us give up the struggle and go back to old habits. There are many reasons why this happens as I have mentioned in my last two blog posts ( Loading 2017 & The Path of Least Resistance ):

  • Our resolutions need to come from a place of “want” rather than “should” in order for us to find the energy to embrace moving forward and getting through the rough patches.
  • It makes sense to take “ The Path of Least Resistance ” by breaking down our goals into small, achievable and most importantly, believable bites.

No matter how well we plan our goals, the reality is that we will have a lot of opportunity to fail along the way. Therefore, if failing is part of the truth around striving to create change and bring our desires into our lives would it make sense that we need to learn how to do it?

By Louise Aspden 09 Jan, 2017

“The  path of least resistance  is the physical or metaphorical pathway that provides the least resistance to forward motion by a given object or entity, among a set of alternative paths.  The concept is often used to describe why an object or entity takes a given path.  The way water flows is often given as an example of the idea.” (Wikipedia)

By Louise Aspden 02 Jan, 2017

I never make resolutions; at least I don’t make them out loud. I believe most of us secretly have hopes, dreams and goals that we want to bring into our lives each New Year. For many years I felt if I didn’t write them down or speak them then it wouldn’t feel like failure on December 31st. Yet, in my heart I always hoped on Jan. 1 that something would be magically different just because the calendar changed.

I believe one the main reasons we don't state our resolutions on January 1st  is that we, along with the majority, generally give up on our resolutions before the end of January. The fact is, only 6% of us succeed!

What? Is that the positive coach being a “Debbie Downer”? In a way, yes! I am not here to build you up towards something that won’t work for you. In order to create a positive perspective in life we need to  be realistic as well. When we choose to look at reality, we can make goals that are more believable and viable to us.

So what are you hoping for? What do you feel you SHOULD change this year? Hmmm…or is it, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE THIS YEAR? The vibe between WANT and SHOULD is very different isn’t it?

Many resolutions come from what we feel we “should” do such as lose weight, get organized, spend less or wake up earlier.

SHOULD is defined as: “to indicate obligation or duty, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.”

WANT is defined as: “a desire for something.” This comes from within you. It’s a desire to have something that will make you feel better, happier or more accomplished.

Want is about choice, should is more about shame. Feel the difference?

So, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT for yourself? How do you want to feel?

If you choose to lose weight, how would that feel for you? Would you feel more energetic, more confident, sexier or just healthier?

So is the goal to lose weight or is it to feel ________? Close your eyes and imagine how it would feel to be more energetic in your daily routine. What would be different?

I you have a goal to get more organized how would that feel? Less stress, more time or higher efficiency and few mistakes? Again, imagine how it would feel to be “on top” of things. What would that look like?

Want to spend less money? How would it feel to stay within a budget each month or have savings at the end of the year? Oh that would be so exciting! What would you save up for that would feel great once you have it? A comfortable retirement? A vacation?

What about getting up earlier? Will that feel good or do you feel you should just because other people do it? What will you gain by making that change? Less chaos in the morning routine, or more time to have a second cup of coffee? Hmmm…that might feel pretty good!

Tap into how you want to feel and then make your goals based on that. I will be touching on more specifics around goal setting next week. For now, play with the idea of how it would feel on December 31st to have achieve one of your goals. 

By Louise Aspden 28 Dec, 2016

I love this week in-between Christmas and New Years. I feel like I am regrouping by getting a bit of Christmas put away and looking towards the New Year. Being that our nest here is empty, it is quiet and peaceful around our home. Something that took me a long while to adjust to, but I digress (that is another topic for another day for sure).

While we prepare to pack away 2016 for good, let’s take some time to reflect and dig around for the areas where we experienced good energy, joy and appreciation.

Every year at this time I notice some people saying they can’t wait to get the year behind them. Usually that is because they had some struggles within their lives that have left them feeling unhappy, stressed or even grief stricken. That is completely understandable.

If you suffered a loss, illness or any other stress you can naturally be stuck there. That is a completely human reaction to pain. However, that reaction can have you bringing negative feelings and energy into the future.

As a Law of Attraction practitioner and coach, my work revolves around helping my followers and clients find the most positive energy they can in every moment of their lives. Our feelings are our point of attraction. That is, what we focus on expands into our world.

Therefore, before we let of 2016, let’s dig around and find some good feelings, good energy to carry with us into 2017 and make it the year that we attract more of what we want and less of what we don’t want.

There were 365 days this year and I know without a doubt, that within those days there were some great moments, good moments and peaceful moments. We just need to do a little mining to find them again.

Here is my challenge (See Facebook Group: #GratefulMoments to join the daily challenge) for the remaining days of the year.

Everyday (until December 31st) I will ask you to look back into your schedule/calendar a few weeks at a time and dig up at least two reasons to be grateful, to feel good. If you are not on Facebook, you can do this on your own, a couple of months per day. By New Year’s Eve you will have revisited 2016 with love, grace and gratitude.

Yes, I understand that this could have been a year that wasn’t easy for you. Maybe you suffered great loss and sorrow, felt riddled with stress and anxiety or maybe you dealt with significant change and unrest. I also know, in my heart (and you do too) that there were good moments, moments of joy, moments of kindness, moments of gratitude. Those are the places we want to put our attention, energy and focus towards.

This will help us open up the energy for a new year full of beautiful, positive energy and experiences. It begins with you, now.

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